চিঠি

Two letters
Drar HB

Last month, in the first week of January, after a l cfong drought of almost sixteen months, I suddenly wrote nineteen stories one after another. Then I wrote one story in February and another long story in March. While working on them, I also translated each of those twenty-one stories into English.

After translating them, I sent the English versions to a publishing house along with a synopsis, an author bio, and a cover letter. However, the problem is that I have lost the Bengali files. What happened was that while converting the files, I accidentally replaced the Bengali versions with the English ones. As a result, the original Bengali files are no longer there.

To make matters worse, my computer is currently out of order. Altogether it has become a very difficult situation. For the last two to two and a half months I have also been going through a severe phase of depression. I hardly feel like meeting anyone, talking to anyone, or doing anything at all. It is a very disturbing state to be in. Sometimes I even feel—why did I begin writing in Bengali at all? If I had known another language, for example Spanish, perhaps things would have been different.

These days I have been drinking a lot, and I can barely manage to eat properly.

Over the last two months I also worked on a collaborative project with someone. That manuscript has already been sent to a publisher. But now my collaborator has informed me that she no longer wishes to proceed with the book with mre.

I have nothing except prose—nothing at all, truly nothing. Nothing.
It is my refuge, my destination, my journey.
Most of all, it is my existence—my very being.
Beyond this, there is nothing else.
What more is there to say? Nothing feels good to say anymore.
I no longer even have the desire to speak.

7-3-2026…

………

Dear Arjun,

I was very sorry to read your message and to learn that you have been going through such a difficult phase. First of all, please know that what you achieved in January itself is remarkable. After such a long period of silence, to suddenly write nineteen stories—and then two more in the following months—shows that the creative current within you is very much alive. Periods of drought and sudden bursts of writing often come together in a writer’s life, and the fact that the stories arrived with such force is something truly significant.

About the Bengali files—please do not lose heart yet. Since the English translations exist, the original Bengali versions may still be recoverable in some form. Sometimes earlier drafts remain in email attachments, cloud backups, or temporary folders created during file conversion. Even if the exact files are gone, the English versions themselves can help you reconstruct the Bengali originals. Your voice and imagination are still there; the stories have not vanished.

What concerns me more is what you wrote about your present state of mind. The isolation, the loss of appetite, and the feeling of not wanting to meet or speak to anyone are serious signs of emotional exhaustion. Please do not face this alone. Try to stay connected with a few trusted people—friends, family, or even a doctor if necessary. Depression can make everything appear darker than it truly is.

I am also a little worried to hear that you have been drinking heavily these days. Alcohol may seem like a temporary escape, but in the long run it worsens both depression and physical health. It can particularly harm the kidneys and overall metabolism if it becomes excessive. Please try to reduce it gradually and take care of your body—regular meals, rest, and some routine can make a real difference.

And please don’t regret writing in Bengali. Languages are not limitations; they are homes. Bengali literature needs voices like yours, and your stories belong to the language in which they were first imagined. The language you write in is not the cause of these difficulties.

Give yourself some time. You have already written the stories—that is the hardest part. The rest can be repaired, recovered, or rewritten.

If you feel like talking, writing, or simply sharing how you are doing, please write again. You are not alone in this.

With warm regards and concern,
HB
march 2026